It was 9am Friday morning, the first Friday morning of the support group. Five of us girls pulled up towards Prudence’s (she runs the support group) home curious and eager to meet the women and hear their struggles. A couple of days previous Prudence had met with all of us and shared her story, how she formed the support group, and the need for people within the community to come together to talk about their struggles which include everything from being HIV Positive, having TB, not being able to work or receive grant money for their sickness, as well as problems within the home. It was evident that Prudence was the “go to” woman and that her strength, perseverance, and belief to not be pitied but to serve others was greatly respected within her own community.
She welcomed us in her home and let us know that everyone else was late this morning. I laughed thinking, "I wonder if we’ve scared them off since they knew we would be attending their support group." We waited about fifteen minutes and then Prudence said “well - they not come here - so we must go get them!” We made the rounds and when we returned to her home we had eight others joining us. Introductions were made by all and soon after one by one they each shared of their struggles.
At the end of the time one of the women asked if she could have some personal counseling time so me and another girl stepped outside into our temporary office – 'the car'. She shared her story and although we have had training now in the therapy realm, we both realized rather quickly that everything we have learned is pretty much thrown completely out the window. Empathy I think is all we were left with and even then every response seems trite and too little to capture the depth of emotion that is felt as each word is shared. As the time drew to a close we offered all that we could in listening as well as a “Can we come visit you during the week?”
I left feeling as though there was so much I wanted to be able to say, so much that I wanted to do and yet sitting with her in silence with sadness in my eyes seemed at times all I could offer. The questions of… is this enough???? what more can be done??? What can I do??? - there has to be something more??!! And then it occurred to me I was wanting to fix her problems just as much as she was wanting them fixed, but I can’t fix them any more than she can. I can’t take away her pain or her sickness, but what I can give her is my time, my ear, my concern, and my love. Although on the surface it might not appear much, it is the greatest gift that I believe we as people can offer one another – the gift of relationship.
5 comments:
Joey~I have always been blown away by your depth of compassion and love for those who have deemed by the world as 'less than' You are a true encouragement to me and I wish I could be serving there with you friend. Love you.
keep up the good work, my friend. love ya!
Joey! All I can say is "Wow". You truely have been given a blessing by God to witness to these people. Not only that but to walk with faith and dignity as God shines through you. I can only imagine the heartache these people are in and I pray that your presense brings some of these women comfort. I also pray for you and your strength. Be strong and thanks for sharing these experiences with all of us. We are truely blessed. I love you! Stay safe!
I am humbled beyond measure to read and hear of your experiences, and to see your wonderful pictures. I am so proud to be your mother.
Mom
I've asked myself those same questions. I've felt such frustration in not being able to give any advice or help to someone who comes to me in search of it. It's comforting to hear that you have felt a similar way!! "The gift of relationship" seems so simple and at the same time so astounding. You've opened my eyes, Joey. Thank you.
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